


Who I Am

by dandelionfairies



Series: HanFic Bingo 2018 [19]
Category: Hanson (Band), One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - No Band, Harry is a model, Light Bondage, M/M, Praise, Zac is a Photographer, Zac stops it, but not really
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-05
Updated: 2019-02-05
Packaged: 2019-10-22 16:07:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,982
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17665766
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dandelionfairies/pseuds/dandelionfairies
Summary: Harry goes to Zac's thinking he needs one thing, but Zac knows he needs the exact opposite.





	Who I Am

**Author's Note:**

> Hanfic Bingo Prompt: Praise

Harry slams his laptop shut when he hears movement behind him.  He glances back to see that it had been Ed walking into the room.  Luckily, the man is distracted with a phone call to probably even notice that Harry had panicked.  This is what Harry gets for researching things here.

 

“Styles, let’s go,” Ed says.

 

Harry rolls his eyes at Ed’s annoyed tone as he stands up.  He follows his agent out of the small dressing room out to where everyone else is waiting.  He looks down to hide his smile when he sees Zac ready with his camera. He knows Ed hates that Zac is still being used as Harry’s photographer.  However, Harry wouldn’t have it any other way.

 

“Hanson, don’t screw this one up,” Ed announces.

 

Harry frowns at the comment.  “Ed, knock it off.” He walks over to where Zac is standing.  “Hi.”

 

Zac lifts his gaze and gives Harry a small smile.  “Hi. How’s it going?”

 

“I’m exhausted.”

 

“You look it.  Thank goodness for makeup, right?”

 

Harry shrugs.  “I guess so.”

 

Zac frowns a little.  “You okay?”

 

Harry nods.  “Can I come over tonight?”  He keeps his question soft so Ed doesn’t overhear him.

 

“Of course.  You’re okay though?”

 

“Yeah.  Just… I need to see you tonight.”

 

“Okay.”  Zac nods.  “Anytime after six.”

 

“Okay.”  Harry steps away and over to the set for the photo shoot.

 

Zac watches the man.  There’s a nervousness in him that he hasn’t seen since the photo shoot they’d done months ago when the collar was involved.  There’s nothing in this shoot that should cause any anxiousness. So he has to wonder to what’s causing it. Even in the new things that Harry’s explored with Zac he hasn’t been like this.

 

“Let’s get started,” Ed calls out.  “We have a lot going on today.”

 

Zac watches as the two blonde women make their way over to where Harry is sitting.  This is the worst part about having to be Harry’s photographer. Sure, he wouldn’t want anyone else behind the camera in most cases of Harry’s shoots, but he hates when it involves others draping themselves over him.  He’s not exactly the jealous type, but Harry’s his. No one should be able to touch him like this. At least he doesn’t have to deal with this one too long. The shoot is quick and before long Harry’s exiting to change back into his regular clothes.

 

As he starts loading the photos onto the computer, he can hear Ed nagging Harry about something.  He’s tempted to step in and say something, but he won’t cause Harry the issues it would cause. Until he actually needs to step in, he’ll stay back.  He just won’t be able to if Ed takes things too far. 

 

“Ed, just stop!”

 

Zac’s head snaps up at that.  He crosses the room to the small dressing room, pushing the door open.  “What’s going on?” he asks.

 

“Nothing that concerns you,” Ed says.

 

“This is my studio, so yes, it does concern me.”  He won’t add, even though he wants to, that anything involving Harry concerns him.

 

“It doesn’t.”  Ed takes a step toward Zac.

 

“Stop,” Harry growls.  He stands up and pushes himself between Zac and Ed.  “Ed, stop.”

 

“Get your things, we’re leaving.”  Ed pushes past Zac and out of the room.

 

Zac runs a hand through his hair as he watches Harry grab his bag.  “I thought you were getting another agent,” he mutters.

 

Harry frowns.  “It’s not that simple, Zac.  I’m under a contract.” He shrugs as he stops in front of Zac.  “See you tonight?”

 

“Harry…”

 

“Zac, I have to go.”  Harry rests his hand on Zac’s chest for a moment.  “I’ll see you tonight.” He hates that it’s coming to this with everything.

 

Zac sighs when Harry walks away.  He turns and watches the younger man leave the studio.  There’s something going on with him, he just can’t figure out what.

 

* * *

 

 

Harry flips his hood up, making sure it’s zipped completely.  He keeps his head down as he walks toward Zac’s building. He’s nervous, though he isn’t entirely sure why.  It’s not like they haven’t done anything together. Though, he still hasn’t worn this during sex. He licks his lips at the thought.  He can’t wait to see the look on Zac’s face. He only looks up when he arrives at Zac’s building. He nods at the security guard as he passes toward the elevators.  He doesn’t take his hood off just yet though. No, he has to wait until he’s inside Zac’s condo.

 

Harry takes a deep breath as he stands at Zac’s door.  He lifts his hand, knocking gently. He knows Zac will tell him that he didn’t need to knock, but he couldn’t bring himself to simply walk in.  Not tonight. He can hear movement inside before the door finally opens. He lifts his gaze to see Zac standing there.

 

“I told you…”

 

“I couldn’t,” Harry interrupts.

 

“Okay.”  Zac moves to the side to let Harry walk in. 

 

When Harry hears the door close, he flips his hood off.  He turns around as he unzips his hoodie, quickly letting it fall to the floor, leaving him clad only in his jeans and the collar around his neck.

 

Zac turns, gasping at the sight before him.  “Harry…”

 

“I need this.”  Harry can feel his hands shaking as he’s talking.  “I need you to use me. Show me that I belong to you.”  He licks his lips nervously, afraid that Zac won’t give him what he wants.  He’s also afraid that Zac will do just that. He lets out a whimper when Zac’s hand slides over his stomach.  “Zac…” He gasps at the feel of Zac tugging at the collar.

 

“Don’t talk,” Zac says in a low voice.  “Not until I give you permission. You want me to use you?  To show you that you belong to me? Then you’re going to do what I tell you.  Understood?”

 

“Yes.”

 

Zac reaches up, sliding his fingers into Harry’s hair, tugging his head back.  “You look perfect in my collar.”

 

Harry bites down on his bottom lip to stop himself from saying anything as Zac licks over his neck, just under the collar.  He’s not used to having to be silent like this. But this is what he wants, it’s what he needs.

 

“You gonna let me do what I want to you?”  Zac smirks when Harry simply nods. “Say it.”

 

“Yes,” Harry squeaks.  “Anything you want.”

 

“Mmm… then I think you need to get down on your knees.”  Zac takes a step back, allowing Harry to follow his instructions.  Reaching back, he pulls his shirt off. As he moves to stand directly in front of Harry, Zac undoes his jeans.  He pushes the denim along with his boxers down enough to release his cock.

 

Harry somehow manages not to reach up to touch Zac.  He has to wait until he’s given permission. He looks up at Zac.

 

“Just your mouth,” Zac says.  “Keep your hands on your legs.  Hear me?”

 

Harry nods.  He flexes his hands once before he settles them on his thighs.  He bites down on his lip as he watches Zac stroke his cock. Zac smiles down at him, tapping his cock on his lips.

 

“Take it.”

 

Harry meets Zac’s gaze as he opens his mouth to his cock.  He lets out a soft moan when Zac thrusts forward. He wants to reach up to grip Zac’s thighs, but he can’t.  He won’t disobey Zac like that.

 

“Remember the sign?” Zac asks.

 

Harry nods as best as he can in this position.  The smile he gets in return sends shivers throughout his body.  

 

“Stay still, then.  I’m gonna fuck your mouth, okay?”  He pulls his cock from Harry’s mouth.  “You gonna let me fuck your mouth?”

 

“Yes,” Harry whispers.  “Please, Zac.”

 

Zac leans down and captures Harry’s mouth in a hungry kiss.  “Love the way you whine for me, Baby.” He licks at his mouth before standing up again.  “Keep your hands on your thighs until I say otherwise. Understand?”

 

“Yes.”

 

Harry opens his mouth to once again accept Zac’s cock.  He settles in, waiting for Zac to start his movements. Zac grips Harry’s hair, thrusting slowly.  Harry knows it won’t stay like this. This is just letting Harry adjust. It’ll quicken and Harry will be completely in Zac’s hands.  Right now, it’s what he wants and needs. He wants Zac to show him that he belongs to him.

 

Zac’s movements quicken as his hands tighten in Harry’s curls.  “You look so pretty taking my cock. Such a good little cock sucker.”  He drops his head back, not slowing his movements. The feel of Harry’s mouth around him is enough to make him let go completely.  However, he’s not giving Harry that satisfaction just yet. No, this is about him using Harry. “Shit, that’s good.” He looks back down at Harry, the man’s gaze still looking up.  “Fuck.” Zac pulls his cock free from Harry’s mouth.

 

Harry gasps, trying to catch his breath again.  He wants to wipe his mouth of the saliva that’s fallen from his mouth, but he hasn’t gotten permission.  

 

Zac grabs his shirt, wiping Harry’s chin and mouth.  “You’re doing so good, Baby. Ready for more?”

 

“Yes.”  Harry gasps in surprise when Zac grabs hold of his collar and pulls him to his feet.  He stumbles forward, thankful Zac’s there to catch him before he falls on his face.

 

Zac chuckles.  “Sorry. Should have warned you.”

 

“No.”  Harry shakes his head.  “Do whatever you want to me.”

 

Zac licks at Harry’s mouth.  “Then come with me.” He keeps his hold on the collar as he pulls Harry down the hall to his bedroom.  “Strip out of everything and get on the bed.” He kisses Harry roughly before he walks over to his dresser.  He pulls a couple of scarves out of the top drawer. When he turns back around, he sees Harry settling on the bed.

 

After securing the scarves around Harry’s wrists, Zac settles himself over the man’s thighs.  He slides his hands up Harry’s chest, dragging his nails back down. “Anything?”

 

Harry nods.  “Yes.” 

 

“Tell me.”  Zac meets Harry’s gaze, knowing that he doesn’t need to say what he wants him to say.

 

“Butterfly.”

 

Zac nods.  He leans down, closing his mouth around Harry’s nipple.  He’s not surprised when Harry arches at the touch. It’s something Harry does each time.  Zac pushes him back down to the mattress.

 

“Zac…”

 

“I didn’t tell you to speak.”  He looks up at Harry. “Don’t make me stop this before we even get started.”

 

“I’m sorry,” Harry whispers.  “I’m sorry.”

 

Zac slides up and kisses him.  “Don’t let it happen again.”

 

“I won’t.”  

 

Zac shifts and slides off Harry.  “Turn over.” He licks his lips as he watches Harry roll over.  He grips his hips and lifts him onto his knees. “So pretty.” He runs a hand up and down his back.  “Arms okay?”

 

“Yes.”

 

Zac parts Harry’s cheeks, licking his lips at the sight of Harry’s waiting hole.  “Fuck.” He reaches over and grabs the lube from the nightstand. “Do I make you wait even longer for my cock?”  He smiles when Harry tugs at the scarves. “Oh, maybe I should make you wait. I like that idea.” He lets the lube fall to the bed.  “Maybe I should sit back and watch you squirm.” 

 

Harry whimpers at that.  He looks back at Zac as best as he can.  He tugs on the restraints. He wants to beg Zac to do something, but he can’t.  Zac chuckles from behind him. 

 

“Does that sound good to you?  Should I just sit back here?”

 

“No,” Harry whines.  “Zac…” He gasps when he feels Zac’s finger slide over his hole.  “Oh…”

 

“Stop talking or I won’t continue.”

 

Harry bites down on his bottom lip so he doesn’t say anything else.  He pushes his hips back toward Zac, hoping he’ll actually do something.  He gets his wish quickly when Zac leans in, licking at his hole. Somehow he manages not to say anything.   He’s not entirely sure how he’s managing it at this point. When Zac’s mouth is on him like this, it’s hard for him not to say something.  But he’s hoping if he can stay quiet now, Zac won’t let it go on the entire time.

 

Zac works his tongue over Harry’s tight hole, urging him to open up.  “Come on, Baby,” he says softly. “Loosen up for me.” He grabs the lube.  He frowns a little at how tight Harry is. Sure, when they first start he’s always tight, but this seems to be even more than usual.  There’s something going on. He taps Harry’s hip. “Turn over.”

 

“What?”  Harry doesn’t even care that he didn’t have permission.  “Zac…”

 

“Turn over,” Zac repeats.  He moves to the side as Harry does as he’s told.  The moment Harry’s settled again, Zac shifts to straddle his stomach.  “What’s going on?” He reaches up, untying Harry’s wrists.

 

“No, don’t…”  Harry shakes his head.  “Please.”

 

“Relax.”  Zac leans down, capturing Harry’s mouth in a soft kiss.  “Tell me what’s wrong.”

 

“Nothing.  Why can’t I…?”

 

“Because it’s not just you needing this.  Something caused you needing this. And the fact that I couldn’t even get my tongue in you tells me something.  And something tells me it has a lot to do with whatever Ed told you earlier.”

 

Harry frowns, pushing at Zac.  “Get off. Let me up.”

 

“Talk to me.”  Zac sighs when Harry continues to push at his chest.  “Stop.” He grabs the smaller man’s wrists and pushes them to the bed.  “Baby…”

 

“I’m nothing, Zac.  But you…” He flexes his hands as Zac’s slides his fingers through his.  “You make me feel like I’m someone.”

 

“That’s because you are.”  Zac kisses down Harry’s jaw.  “I am a lucky man to have someone like you wanting me.  And the way you give yourself up for me.” He finds Harry’s mouth again.  

 

“Then why won’t you now?  Make me yours, Zac.”

 

“Not until you tell me what’s wrong.”  He lifts up to look down at Harry. “Talk to me.  I’m here, Baby.” He finally lets Harry pull his hands free.  He’s thankful he doesn’t try pushing him away again. Instead, Harry’s hands make their way into Zac’s hair.  “I can’t make it better if you don’t talk to me.”

 

“Nothing can make it better.”

 

Zac frowns at that.  “Tell me.” Something flashes in Harry’s eyes and Zac can see the start of a panic attack.  “Okay. It’s okay.” He shifts so he’s no longer on top of Harry, pulling the man to sit up with him.  “Keep breathing.” He reaches out, pulling the collar loose.

 

“No, don’t take it off,” Harry mumbles.  “Please… I need to know I’m yours.”

 

“You are mine.  That won’t change if this isn’t on.”  He meets Harry’s green gaze and can see just how panicked he is right now.  “Baby, I need you to talk to me. I need to know what’s going on.”

 

Harry runs a hand through his hair as he looks down.  He can’t bring himself to look at Zac as he starts talking.  “I got an email today,” he says. “Which I knew it would be coming up.  I just didn’t expect it like this. It was from…” Harry twists the ring on his middle finger.  “My agency. My contract is up in a few months. I figured it would just be like it was the last time.”

 

“It’s not?”

 

“No.  And I don’t know what to do.  Because if I don’t resign with them, I could be done.”

 

“Why would you think that?  You’re amazing.”

 

“Because I’m not twenty anymore.  The stuff I do… girls can get away with it longer than I can.  I’m…” He finally looks up, meeting Zac’s gaze. “But if I do resign with them, everything will change.”

 

“Like what?”

 

“Apparently I don’t listen to Ed.  There’s going to be more rules for  _ me _ to follow.”  He shrugs. “I could get over some of them.  But when it comes to my personal life…” He shakes his head.  “No one can tell me what to do in that department. No one but you.”

 

“What are they saying?”

 

“I can’t date anyone who they don’t approve of.  Which means Ed has been talking to everyone about us.  Hell, they don’t even want me dating men. A bad image according to them.  Who’s going to believe that’s I’m a straight man? It’s beyond obvious that I take it in the ass.”

 

“Harry…”

 

“I mean, seriously Zac.  If you didn’t know me, would you believe I was straight?”

 

“I can’t answer that.  Because I do know you and I have been in your ass.”  He smiles a little when Harry lets out a small laugh.

 

“Exactly.”  He wipes his eyes.

 

“So basically, if you resign with them, we have to quit this.”

 

“No!”  Harry shakes his head.  “I will not let that happen.  I cannot let that happen. You…”  He stares at Zac. “I’m too in love with you to let you go.”  He gasps when he realizes what he’d said. “Oh God. I’m sorry.”  He scrambles to get out of bed.

 

Zac reaches out to stop him, wrapping his arms around his waist.  “Stop.” He pulls Harry back onto the bed, making sure he’s flush against him.  “Stop fighting me, Harry.” He presses a soft kiss to his bare shoulder. “If you haven’t already figured out, I’m in love with you too.”  He feels Harry relax in his arms. “I don’t show just anyone this part of my life.” He loosens his grip to allow Harry to spin around.

 

“There’s more,” Harry says softly.  “Ed…”

 

Zac’s jaw tightens at the mention of Harry’s agent.  “What did he do?”

 

“Nothing yet.  He’s… threatening me I guess.  He’s insisting that I resign. But…”  He shrugs as he shifts to get more comfortable on Zac’s lap. 

 

“Tell me.”  Zac runs his hands up and down Harry’s back.  “You can tell me.”

 

“The new contract also said that I would have to get a new photographer.  They don’t want me working with you anymore.”

 

“There’s more.”

 

Harry nods slowly.  “After the shoot today, Ed started ragging on me.”

 

“I heard.  Didn’t hear what he was saying.”

 

“Told me that if I wanted to continue in this business then I had to know where my place was and it wasn’t as a tight hole for some photographer.”  Harry rests his hands on Zac’s cheeks when he feels him tense up. “But that’s not what this is. This is more than that. Yes, I’m yours. And yes you take me when you want.  But that’s what I want. I want you to control me. I want you to put me in my place. Because I know at the end of the day…”

 

“I love you.”  Zac leans in and kisses Harry softly.  “He better stay away from me for your next shoot.  I won’t hold back any longer. As for tonight?” Zac pulls the collar off Harry’s neck, causing the younger man to whine softly.  “Tonight you need more than just this. I’m going to show you exactly how much you mean to me.” He tosses the collar away. “Let me love you, Harry.”

 

“Please.”

 

Zac keeps an arm around Harry’s waist as he shifts them so he can lay the younger man down.  Harry wraps his legs around Zac’s waist, not wanting to let him go. Their mouths come together once again, connecting in a slow, passionate kiss.  Harry slides a hand up, tangling his fingers into Zac’s hair. They’ve shared passionate kisses before, but none of them have been like this. There’s a different kind of need behind this one.

 

Zac reaches for the lube again, breaking the kiss so he can start getting Harry ready for him.  He runs the tip of his finger over Harry’s entrance. He meets Harry’s gaze as he presses into him.  “That’s it, Baby. Let me in.” He adds a second finger after a moment, watching Harry’s face for any signs of pain or discomfort.  “There you go.”

 

Harry licks his lips.  “Please, Zac. Please love me.”  

 

Zac pulls his fingers from Harry before coating his cock with lube.  He shifts so he can guide himself into Harry. “Ready?”

 

“Yes.”

 

Zac keeps his eyes on Harry’s as he pushes into him.  He bites down on his bottom lip as Harry lets his eyes flutter closed.  “So good, Baby.” Once he’s fully buried inside Harry, he stops to let him adjust.

 

“Please move.”

 

Zac shifts, leaning over to kiss Harry as he starts moving.  He keeps his thrusts slow, his kisses are soft and almost lazy.  Harry slides his arms around him, holding him down close as he starts moving along with each of Zac’s thrusts.

 

“So good for me,” Zac mumbles against his lips.  “You’re so good, Baby.” Their lips move easily against each other.

 

Harry moans as he slides a hand down, gripping at Zac’s hip.  He’s not trying to get him to move quicker, because this pace is something he didn’t know he needed.  He’s just trying to hold onto every inch of this man. 

 

“So perfect, Harry.  You are amazing.” Neither man is ever vocal in this way during their moments like this.  Zac, however, feels that Harry simply needs to hear it right now. He needs to understand how special he is.  Zac wants to be the one to show him. He pulls up enough to look at Harry. He smiles when he finds the other man watching him again.  “You’re beautiful.”

 

“No…”  Harry stops when he sees the look on Zac’s face.  “Zac, you… do you really think that?”

 

“If I didn’t, I wouldn’t say it.”  He nuzzles Harry’s neck. “You look so pretty like this, letting me love you how you should always be loved.”  

 

Harry draws his knees up, whimpering softly at the way his own cock is trapped between their bodies.  Normally he would hate the feeling, but there’s something about he’s feeling right now that makes it feel perfect.  “Oh…”

 

“You’re beautiful.”

 

“You make me feel beautiful.”

 

“Always beautiful.”  Zac captures his mouth in another soft kiss.  “I’ll make you believe it.”

 

Harry moans against Zac’s mouth, tightening his grip in his hair.  “Please… oh yes. Zac…” He arches up against Zac. “Please.”

 

“I’ve got you, Baby.  Let go.” 

 

Harry opens his eyes once again, meeting Zac’s dark gaze.  “Zac…” He pulls him down for another kiss as he reaches his release.  “Yes, right there.”

 

Zac pushes through Harry tightening on him a few more times before his own high.  “So good, Baby.”

 

Harry wakes up several hours later, smiling at the feel of Zac’s arms wrapped tightly around him.  When he first arrived tonight, he thought he needed to be shown that he belongs to Zac. He quickly found out it was the opposite.  He had needed to be shown Zac’s love. And that’s exactly what he had. Why couldn’t everyone see just how special Zac is?

 

“You okay?” Zac asks quietly.

 

Harry curls his fingers through Zac’s.  “Yes,” he answers. “Thanks to you. I never knew…”

 

“Tell me.”

 

“I never knew I could feel love like that.”  He brings Zac’s hand up to his mouth, placing a soft kiss onto his palm.  “Zac, what should I do about my contract?”

 

“If you want me to step away, I will.”

 

“No, I won’t let you go.”

 

“Then you should probably be in contact with other agencies or see if yours is willing to negotiate.  And for the love of everything, get rid of Ed.”

 

Harry smiles against Zac’s palm.  “I need you to know that I will never give you up.  I need you, Zac. You make me… who I am.”


End file.
